george carlin quotes on politics

Keep 'em showing up at those 'jobs. George Carlin, in full George Denis Patrick Carlin, (born May 12, 1937, New York, N.Y., U.S.died June 22, 2008, Santa Monica, Calif.), American comedian whose Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television routine led to a U.S. Supreme Court ruling that gave the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) the right to determine when to The Kennedy Center posthumously awarded this year's Mark Twain Prize for American Humor to George Carlin. They've got the judges in their back pockets. George Carlin on the Church I have as much authority as the Pope. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? ~ (George Carlin). Theres no such thing. George Carlin If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin George Carlin Quotes on Pride We dont have people like that in this country. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. 93. When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. Garbage out. ", "The owners of this country don't want that. I have as much authority as the Pope. Do these people honestly think that God is sitting around picking out his favorites? So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way: on election-day, I-STAY-HOME. Here's one for the ladies, "Nary-A-Carry"! WebThis is the best we can do folks. When you die, it all stays here. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. ~ (George Carlin). Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? ~ (George Carlin). Why would God have a favorite country? Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. ~ (George Carlin). If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent people, and they get into office and screw everything up, well you are responsible for what they have done, YOU caused the problem, you voted them in, you have no right to complain. We get what we deserve. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. Life is a series of dogs. ~ (George Carlin). 52. 110. Its hard to say if he was a Republican or a Democrat, however, as he refused to vote, considering it pointless because voting, as he said, is the illusion of choice.[4]. Because you have the most money? Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did. ~ (George Carlin). We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. There are, at least, some points we can all agree on. '", "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. And a by Libertarian Country When I ask how old your toddler is, I dont need to hear 27 months. Hes two will do just fine. "Hmm? Its interested in its own power. Maybe something else sucks around here like: THE PUBLIC. Deal with it. They brought a new era to the world [], An outstanding jurist and the second woman ever appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court, Ruth Bader Ginsburg trail blazed through [], When trying to write about Ariana Grande, one word comes directly to the mind and sums up everything: phenomenon. There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot. ~ (George Carlin). Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. ~ (George Carlin). Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away. ~ (George Carlin). It can help you a lot. It's always people who've told us to live together in harmony and try to love one another. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. And far from staying to the safer path, he leapt time and again past the cliff of common wisdom, in the hopes of rattling us into questioning the way we live. Web#1 Dont just teach your children to read. You have no choice. I think that speaks for itself. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. No contest. 92. Men are stupid. 77. That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. In America, anyone can become president. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives dont care 22. How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? ~ (George Carlin). Weve added years to life, not life to years. Fortunately, fans of Carlin are not easily persuaded that everything must align with partisan preference. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. ~ (George Carlin). The people are fucked. Its so f***ing heroic. If you're born in America you get a front row seat. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. Though he was obviously against Republicans and evangelic conservatism, he also had a penchant for beating up liberal Democrats. ", "Careful. The future will soon be a thing of the past. I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. In a world where we agree on so little, it is nice to have a voice from the past whose bias can not be defined as strictly partisan. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. ~ (George Carlin). Perhaps those who can really claim him as one of their own are the commoners, we the people, caught in the chaos. 21. 87. Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. ~ (George Carlin). God has a three-day weekend. ~ (George Carlin). Considered as one of the greatest stand-up comedians of all You get up, you go to work, you eat three meals, you take one good s**t, and you go back to bed. Every religion is by all means to be respected but the role of the Churches is debatable. 106. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights. ~ (George Carlin). They're not pro-life. 29. We think in language. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. Everyone smiles in the same language. ~ (George Carlin). 111. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? That was me when I was fourteen. ", "Selling is legal. He has been widely cited as a political humor expert and authored two books on the subject. The legendary George Carlin reminded us to think deeply but to make sure we take time to laugh and never take ourselves too seriously. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. ~ (George Carlin). The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. ~ (George Carlin). 33. One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. And why would it be America out of all the countries? Here, we bring you 27 of the best George Carlin quotes of all time. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. ~ (George Carlin). Now it's the zombie liberal.They say politics makes strange bedfellows--because today, the first amendment is under attack from people on the right and the left. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. They should be giving their money to you. 65. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? It is easy to speculate that George Carlin would have been disgusted by the thought of being a political darling for any party, and especially by the thought of being partisan media clickbait. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. 66. Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. Tits always look better in a pink sweater. ~ (George Carlin). Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesnt mean the circus has left town. ", "You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? Some people see things that are and ask, Why? George Carlin was way ahead of his time. Carlin was not unique in that he saw through the thick layers of societal propaganda and rhetoric that are the source of many of the worlds problemsand let it be known that, despite his liberal stance on most social issues, he would point out their hypocrisies as wellbut he was well-respected and well-spoken enough to have left an impression on American thinking and history. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. ~ (George Carlin). Web390K subscribers in the quotes community. 73. Theres no present. We havent tried that for a while. The challenge is to find it. Quotes from the late comedian and social critic, George Carlin, often surface in the political arena of social media. 70. They dont pass through a membrane from another reality. The previous statement is false. ~ (George Carlin). Believe me, my friend. ~ (George Carlin). Theres a humorous side to every situation. Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, Best Anti-Gun Jokes and One-Liners About Gun Control, Funny Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes as Actor and Politician. The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. The people are f***ed. Thats just common sense! ~ (George Carlin). The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. Webwelcome to another episode of George Carlin quotes what George Carlin Quotes, What I Think About Politics. I just dont have as many people who believe it. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of WebBest George Carlin Quotes 1. So I know that a little later on this year, youre going to have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much. WebFamous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics. When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. ~ (George Carlin). Some critics felt that Ice Cube's willingness to work with Republicans signaled his support for Trump. His comedy routines and sayings are among the most widely spread in our society. ", "Don't just teach your children to readteach them to question what they read. 34. For your favorite quotes. Fuck em. 6. The only good thing ever to come out of religion was. Bruce Lee was raised Catholic and Buddhist. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often.