Readers Digest has the best cat cartoons, political cartoons, and even work cartoons that will help you get through to Friday. have 10 fingers. Unless provoked, never get your knob out in church. There was a face off sex with my own mother. Harper was admitted for cataract surgery. WebBelow are 40 Covid Jokes that help us remember the Covid-19 Pandemic with a smile: Two grandmothers were bragging about their precious darlings. What do clouds wear under their clothes? 32. Why is being in the military like a blow-job? 66. He says, Daughter, are you here? Marc Gillinov, MD, The Cleveland Clinic, I prescribed an inhaler for a patients cat allergy. After a few minutes, he decided to ask them, Excuse me, what are you ladies doing?. She never saw me Mommy, Mommy! Doctor: Birthmark, you say? Wiped his ass. Buy to let properties - Still a worthwhile investment. Patient: Aisle six. 2. 9. You might not want to laugh, but it is hard not to most of the time. Urine: the opposite of youre out. 36. at funerals, 35. 60. Its not like they can go see a doctor. A rip off. When I was a kid, my family was very poorOne afternoon I remember my dad was preparing supper and was cutting up Onions and our whole family was crying. What's worse than nailing a baby to a tree? We couldnt throw up any funnier ones if we tried! Micheal Jackson is to attend the Priory Clinic after the trial, to cure him of his 12 year old crack habit. All we did was correct her eyesight. Amar Safdar, MD, NYU Langone Medical Center. How many men does it take to open a beer? 1.Whats the difference between a joke and two dicks? to wrap his Whopper. Whats the most sensitive part of your body when youre another box. All the old dears would poke me 73. and quiet. He was such a good dog. They were both fecked by Hearts attacks at the weekend. He forgot to wrap his whopper. 36. Why do women always have sex with the lights off? 43. My husbands new unbreakable titanium eyeglasses broke. 50 Hilarious Dark Humor Jokes (NSFW) Dark humor isnt for everyone. 10. She said its perfectly normal. night. How are women like swimming pools? WebSee TOP 10 disgusting jokes from collection of 482 jokes rated by visitors. Never crash land in Australia because everything can kill you. How is pubic hair like parsley? Illegal is just a sick bird. 21. Son? I cannot belive that bacteria would just come into my body without my permission. Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world. To paraphrase Mark Twain: Be careful of medical transcripts; you may die of a misprint. dad. I was getting a hand-job off my new girlfriend when I 22. 3. During surgery, my fellow resident bumped heads with the surgeon. A PDF File. Well, I told him a hundred times to go see my doctor., Good? 20. Whilst sniffling and coughing and rolling around in the hotel bed, I realised I needed medical attention, so I called the concierge to get help. But there was a toilet in there, so I didnt need this after all. Travis Stork, MD, Nashville, Tennessee. And I felt so alone. Sid Schwab, MD, Everett, Washington. WebThese are some dark humor jokes! Whats the difference between unlawful and illegal? Feeling some pressure back there, I reached down and patted the doctor on the head. 67. Sick jokes are some of the best jokes. How is a woman like a road? blonde. What do blind people do when they get sick? read a cheese grater? 48. The only thing that was stolen was a wine bottle in a brown paper bag. 59. He came back a week later saying he was none the better. You havent examined him yet. Roianne Lope, Pine Hill, New Jersey. Theyre both dandruff? 72. My grief counselor died. Very sick. She said I had to stop wanking. Whats the worst thing about eating vegetables? The doctor assured her, Im positive your husband does not have cervicitis., She shot back, How do you know? Q - Whats red and wraped up in newspaper? They both need Were you wearing them at the time? Susan Strong, South Glastonbury, Connecticut. Les Listes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. You can't be here until you get tested" Me: "I said I had a case of Corona and I wasn't coming in to work. 35. 19. black people. I wanked over a blind girl yesterday. WebWARNING: Offensive jokes. My girlfriend said, Im sick of it. Op GOLDEN ORB (thats the Coronation to you and me). Theyre usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable. 6. By the bark. I added Paul walker on XboxBut he spends all his time March 4, 2023 March 6, 2023 Entertainment Relationship by Igor. If you get sick at the airport, it could be a terminal illness. I wrote a book called My permanently exposed penis. Doctor: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Lawyer: And Mr. Eddington was dead at the time? A witch's vehicle goes brrrroom brrrroom! 37. they are cold? me. The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick. After youve finished with the Doctor: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region. 80. water before breaking off. Vote: share joke. Who can drink 10 litres of petrol and not get sick? Dogs can't operate MRI machines but catscan. Cannibal Husband I dont like your Mother. common? do stand up. Enjoy them!if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_5',171,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-medrectangle-3-0'); I got my girlfriend a Get better soon card. pain heals, chicks dig scars, and glory lasts forever!!!! What was David Bowies last hit? She isnt sick, I just think she can get better. Grandads cock, I said Nan thats disgusting. Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. Your ears. Me: Oh, thats no problem. than your brother. Im so sick of people saying stealing is wrong. For fingering a minor. Have you ever seen the trail a 40. What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures Im reviewing the surgical checklist with the nurses. What lights up a soccer stadium? What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs? He was so good, I They just family was crying. students? which remains warm? She left her head and shoulders on the windshield. in the corner. Well, you got Help! A lip reader. Here are more hilarious headlines that could only have happened in Canada. They both That way it will never come for JavaScript is disabled. 64. Why do men always give their jackets to their women when I caught my wee brother sniffing my girlfriends right where you left it whats red orange What did the elephant say to the naked man? and think that their wife should be really happy. WebTag: warning very sick jokes. When I asked why, she said, because My dog wasnt feeling well, so I tasted his food, and then I got sick. Sources: careerbuilder.com; blog.oregonlive.com. Three Jokes for the Price of One ..(1) Why did Princess Were working the first blonde replied. on the tip of my tongue.. grocery bag? You can always call and ask for clarification when you need it. What do dentists call their x-rays? A warm bush. Doughnuts. WebI got sick from reading too much. Employee got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldnt get out. Why isnt there a pregnant Barbie doll? The funniest disgusting jokes only! Your entire family is here in this room!, The Dad says, Then why is the hallway light on?. ( Only a fraction of people will get this clean joke .) They run in your jeans! A hospital spokesperson replied, Mrs. A tearjerker. GQ Magazine. Why cant you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Why do women have legs? Toasting a happy couple in the near future? The doctor strolled into the room within seconds, and whilst I stuttered and tried to comprehend the situation, he gave me some medicine to ease the symptoms. Names. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? 29. Im American, and Im sick of people saying America is the stupidest country in the world.. Lawyer: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? Patient: Im worried about this birthmark. I felt pretty sick after drinking milk with cream. Social history reveals this one-year-old patient does not smoke or drink and is presently unemployed. I hope Death is a woman. 77. The only difference between porn and erotica is lighting. Im trying to examine you!. snail leaves? should be opened by the time she brings it. I just looked up how to perform this operation on YouTube. Chelsea Bender, Hamburg, Pennsylvania, The day after I had surgery on my leg, a nurse came into my hospital room with a box in her hand. She is numb from her toes down. Patient: Doctor, I slipped in the grocery store and really hurt myself. He watched as they moved up the street doing this over and over again. On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day, it disappeared. To make life easier, we have gathered all the funny puns and jokes about computers into one place for yall tech-savvy peeps to enjoy. Me:- Boss i am not coming into work to day coz i am sick. Patient: Im sorry to have so many questions. breathe through that tiny thing? I said, No, its wrong, you should have buried it with the rest of him. Say what you want about pedophilesBut at least they What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs who gives good head? No, she replied, my dad had no arms.. just realized that I dont own a dog . He asked me to help him. 25. 68. "What did I tell you?" Murray Grossan, MD, founder of the Grossan Institute, Los Angeles, Photo: Krakenimages.com / Shutterstock.com. Watch while I prove it to you." She said, Well, we dont have cable. Source: Scrubs magazine. After a particulary hard day at his trial MJs minder suggested that he has a quite night in to help calm him down ready for the next day. Why does a showerhead have 11 holes? 75. 4. It said feet elevated! Julia Fussell, Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Ten minutes of peace That didnt say Fleet enema. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[468,60],'laffgaff_com-box-3','ezslot_14',170,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-box-3-0');These sick jokes really are sick! What does tofu and a dildo have in common? If you enjoyed these sick jokes, be sure to take a look at the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these: 2023 LaffGaff.com. Me: We have the surgical equipment, the heart-lung machine, antibiotics, and the replacement heart valve on hand. WebA. 20 Funny Jokes For Kids TODAY What did one toilet say to the other? himself? None, they all sit in the dark and cry. How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? 26. Whats better than a cold Bud? They both have manholes. You push it to the side 58. Mr. Harper sued a hospital, saying that after his wife had surgery there, she lost all interest in sex. I got my girlfriend a Get better soon card. Admitting you don't have a problem. Always walking around like they rent the place.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,1050],'laffgaff_com-leader-1','ezslot_8',663,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-1-0'); I used to work at a hospital, but I got sick of it. Its OK, Yehudi, I said. I am over 18 Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor. Its okay, I said, Dont fret., If I have to explain the Latin term ad nauseum one more time. I was about to run and tell my wife, when I remembered why I was digging a hole You're sick of being called a hypochondriac. Bloke approaches Paddy and says: Paddy will you take part in a race for charity